Soulight Shining bv




Book 21layers of the soul

News, blogs



Overige informatie


Enter your email address to subscribe and receive newsletters by email.


Follow my


Why Judgements Hurt – Part Two

Author and Healing Medium, Annemiek Douw, shares what happens to your energy on an emotional, psychological and spiritual level when you judge or are judged.

Last blog I talked about how judging others make us separate ourselves from them instead of connecting from heart to heart and finding out what we have in common. And how, when we judge ourselves, we separate ourselves from part of us. This time I’ll describe what happens energetically when we judge.

Receiving the Poisoned Arrow

Perhaps you already know this: all thoughts are energy and energy creates. When it comes to judgements, it translates like this: when someone judges you, he shoots an arrow of judgemental energy into your aura. This arrow creates a hole in your aura, an energetic wound. The wound hurts forcing you to heal it.

But the judgemental arrow doesn’t only create a wound; the judgemental thought that sits on the arrow head also contains the poisonous information that makes the wound sting. It’s not just that the arrow created a wound, the information is toxic to you too.

And the worst of it is, this information doesn’t resonate with who you really are anyway – it isn’t even true for that matter – but nevertheless you find yourself with a wound which is filled with judgemental poison and you need to find a way to transmute it into something you can digest and can get rid of.

So in fact, you suddenly have 4 problems:

  • You have an unexpected hole in your aura and it is therefore more easily penetrated by other negative energies
  • The arrow head has created a wound in some of your aura layers
  • This wound is irritated by the piece of toxic information that came with it
  • Although you didn’t ask for it, you have to do something to heal it

The Matryoshkas in your Aura

That wounded aura (the now damaged energy field surrounding you) is very much like those Russian nesting dolls, matryoshkas. Your physical body is the smallest doll and it is surrounded by a light body that’s slightly bigger: the emotional body. But since our physical bodies are fairly solid, you can’t look through them. Even if you can see auras like I do, you can only see part of the emotional ‘doll’. You see the difference between the emotional body and the physical one. But this second, bigger layer (the emotional layer) is surrounded by another, even larger one, followed by others that are bigger still. So apart from the emotional layer, there are a lot of other layers, each slightly bigger than their predecessor. Let’s look first at the emotional layer.

Emotional Hurt

Emotions are feelings we have. Nothing more and nothing less. There’s nothing wrong with feeling what we feel, but sometimes we just don’t like what we experience. Then the feeling isn’t warm, cuddly and pleasant, but can be a feeling of unease, in one way or another. Still, the emotion itself is normally not the problem, unless it becomes too much for us. Then the tears come, or we start laughing – two excellent ways of decreasing emotional tension.


When your aura is wounded by someone else’s negative judgement you might feel emotionally wobbly or insecure. You feel uneasy and don’t understand why.

When the judgement was spoken out loud, directly to you, you probably know when the hurt started and perhaps you understand why it hurts so much. You have an explanation, a reason for the hurt, and it becomes a thought. We then have to go to the next layer to find that thought, in the third matryoska doll: the rational or psychological layer.

Just thought it, didn’t say it?!

And sometimes judgemental things aren’t even said. They are only thought. That doesn’t seem to hurt anyone, does it?

Yet it does. Thoughts are all energy, remember? And all energy creates. When a judgement is said out loud and results in a wound, the victim can recognise what has happened since he heard you say it. But in cases where you just judge someone else in your thoughts and don’t put it into words, the damage still is done!

Your arrow, with its poisonous head, is still shot into the other person’s aura, creating a new wound that they may not even be aware of.

The Psychological Wound

So when someone says something hurtful, it’s not only what has been said but also your own thoughts about what has been said that hurt: “Why doesn’t he understand me? Why doesn’t he see who I really am? Why doesn’t he see that I am right?” This all hurts your head.

These thoughts, and the imbalance between them and the other person’s judgements, make you feel uneasy or insecure which causes an unpleasant feeling in your body. So the discrepancy between what you hear and what you think causes an imbalance. Someone thinks something negative about you; you can’t change it, but it doesn’t feel good – and we all want to feel good. And since you can’t change someone else’s thoughts, you’re stuck with the uneasiness. First in your head and then in your emotional body.

But when you find that the judgemental arrow has wounded you on a rational level, there are things you can do to make it better. For example you can send a negative arrow back to get rid of some of your hurt or, the one I like better, you can do some spring-cleaning. You need to think about what caused the wound and consider “Is the other person right or is he wrong? And if he’s wrong, why does it still hurt?”

Normally if you can wrap your mind around it, when the insight arrives it soothes the feeling of uneasiness because when you start to understand what has happened, you can try and find a way out of the uneasiness. But that’s not always the case.

Spiritual wounds

Since you got wounded on one of the spiritual levels, the levels that give meaning to your life, the harm is done on a much higher level. We find them in the higher layers of your aura, 4 and so on. Then you can be wounded and lose your way as it comes to where you are on your path of life. Or the relationships you have, that are based on soul agreements, don’t go according to plan and you get lost. Or the things you wanted to bring to the Earth are not recognised yet. Or you doubt yourself whether to follow your own Truth or to adapt to someone else’s. These are all examples of spiritual wounds in different layers of the aura.

Of course, much more can be said about these wounds (in fact, I’ve written a book about it) but for now, the main issue is that when you have a wound on a higher level, such as one of the spiritual levels, all the lower aura layers are influenced by it. That’s only logical since the biggest Matryoska doll contains all the smaller ones, so if the biggest layer is hurt by an arrow, that arrow penetrates all the other layers too.

And that’s how your thoughts and emotions are infected by the spiritual wounds you suffer. That’s why it hurts when your father says you messed up your life or aren’t able to maintain healthy relationships. That’s why it hurts when your partner says you don’t do anything right. That’s why it hurts when your mother criticises your behaviour. It hurts because on the Soul level it makes you doubt yourself on the most important aspects of life, the spiritual ones.


Solutions aren’t easily found here but in my next blog I will describe some of the things that you can do on a Soul level to solve the 4 problems you have when you are judged and wounded. For now, the best advice I can give is to try and find out what the most hurtful thought is and put into words why it hurts so badly. Take an inventory, so to speak. Then ask yourself, and more importantly feel:

“Who am I on a Soul level? Is this thought congruent with my Inner Self?”

And ask yourself:

“Is this negative thought really me?” and try to align with that core, the centre of your Being, your Soul. Just acknowledge that on another level something bad may have happened to you, but that’s not who you are. It’s just what has happened.

And as you go through life, hurtful things will happen or be said to you. Part of the life experience is learning how to deal with that. It’s just part of the plan.

Reading more?

Are you interested in judgements and the layers of the aura that can be wounded by them? Are you curious to find out what it means to heal yourself in the layers of your Soul? My new book 21 Layers of the Soul: Healing the Karmic Ties with Friends, Lovers, Family and Enemies describes them. 21 Layers of the Soul is out now. Alternatively, the Dutch version is available here. You can also book a healing with Annemiek via Skype.

Annemiek Douw – photography by Peter Nugteren www.prents-and-more.nl

ANNEMIEK DOUW, MSc is a management coach, energetic therapist, lightworker, medium, trainer and author. Coming from an unlikely background in engineering, Annemiek has always been interested in how people think and grow at a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. In her work within the government and business sectors, she began to see how illness comes into people’s lives, often making it unpredictable and seemingly out of control. This influenced her to start exploring bioenergetics and other alternative therapies, eventually leading her to complete a 3-year course at the Natural Medicine Academy South-Netherlands to become a paranormal therapist. In 1998 she dedicated herself to this work full-time. She later fell ill herself for an extended period of time, which allowed her to gain first-hand insight into the human experience of illness, and to learn how the soul is an internal compass that continuously guides. Probing more deeply into how this compass works, Annemiek discovered 21 layers of the soul that influence our ability to grow and to heal in our bodies, minds and relationships. This discovery became the foundation of her unique healing style, and today Annemiek helps clients heal at many levels, and teaches them how to read this compass for themselves. Wanting to share this unprecedented work with a wider audience, she published the Dutch language book De ziel in het licht van haar hogere auralagen in 2011. The English translation of this book is coming in autumn 2013, under the title 21 Layers of the Soul: Healing the Karmic Ties with Friends, Lovers, Family and Enemies.

Best Selling Author

I was ill, having a fever, coughing and sneezing and I couldn’t sleep. Restless as I was, I checked my email on my phone around 4 am and then smiled. Time differences sometimes come in handy. While I was struggling through the night, someone overseas, from Radhaa...


Around Valentine's Day, you can sometimes feel very alone. Even if you think it’s just a commercial day, on February 14 it's sometimes just a little less fun to be single. So many people seem to enjoy a relationship. And maybe not even enjoy it, but at least they're...

Long COVID and the layers of the Soul

I’m a specialist working in the 40 Layers of the Aura, the 40 Layers of the Soul. After months of working with former COVID-patients healing their issues in their auras, I noticed something interesting that I would like to share. A few months back Mandy came to my...

Think yourself out of the Box

What can you do to end a (sometimes global) stalemate, if you experience that what is happening in (your part of) the world is not in accordance with your highest values. When it’s simply not right, according to your heart? A big cloud covers the earth. It consists of...

Renewed English website annemiekdouw.com is online!

I am very happy with it because I suddenly realised that it's quite a lot of work to create both a Dutch and an English website and keep them up to date, give people and animals healings, give individual and group courses, write books, train people individually, teach...

Healing Flowers and old sorrows

Saturday afternoon, 2.15 pm, 82.4 degrees Fahrenheit outside. The sun is shining and the whole world seems to be free and enjoying it. Everyone except the about 160 members of the Professional Association of Therapists with whom I am in a long online members meeting....


Enter your email address to subscribe and receive newsletters by email.